The 12 Days of Entrepreneurship

To celebrate the holidays, here's my rendition of a holiday classic.

The 12 Days of Entrepreneurship

On the first day of entrepreneurship,

my angles gave to me,

ONE totally new direction for the company.

GULP!

On the second day of entrepreneurship,

my angels gave to me,

TWO contradictory marketing strategies.

YIKES.

And one totally new direction for the company.

On the third day of entrepreneurship,

my angels gave to me,

THREE disagreeable patent lawyers.

Two contradictory marketing strategies,

And one totally new direction for the company.

On the fourth day of entrepreneurship,

my angels gave to me,

FOUR new complex SWOT analysis.

Oy Vey!

Three disagreeable patent lawyers.

Two contradictory marketing strategies,

And one totally new direction for the company.

On the fifth day of entrepreneurship,

my angels gave to me,

FIVE Venture Capitalists in fowl moods.

Uh-OH!

Four new complex SWOT analysis’.

Three disagreeable patent lawyers.

Two contradictory marketing strategies,

And one totally new direction for the company.

This is going to hurt.

On the sixth day of entrepreneurship,

my angels gave to me,

SIX Useless Overpriced Consultants.

Don’t just charge it.

Five Venture Capitalists in fowl moods.

Four new complex SWOT analysis’.

Three disagreeable patent lawyers.

Two contradictory marketing strategies,

And one totally new direction for the company.

Does it ever end?

On the seventh day of entrepreneurship,

my angels gave to me,

SEVEN slick marketing slogans, using the old branding.

There goes the graphic artist! Right out that door. He looked pissed.

Six useless overpriced consultants.

Five Venture Capitalists in fowl moods.

Four new complex SWOT analysis’.

Three disagreeable patent lawyers.

Two contradictory marketing strategies,

And one totally new direction for the company.

Where’s my Tylenol?

On the eighth day of entrepreneurship,

my angels gave to me,

EIGHT equity investors each wanting 50 plus one of the business.

Something just doesn’t add up!

Seven slick marketing slogans, using the old branding.

Six useless overpriced consultants.

Five Venture Capitalists in fowl moods.

Four new complex SWOT analysis’.

Three disagreeable patent lawyers.

Two contradictory marketing strategies,

And one totally new direction for the company.

Those golden handcuffs are starting to look pretty good now.

On the ninth day of entrepreneurship,

my angels gave to me,

NINE outdated web articles.

Do they even know what we do?

Eight equity investors each wanting 50 plus one of the business.

Seven slick marketing slogans, using the old branding.

Six useless overpriced consultants.

Five Venture Capitalists in fowl moods.

Four new complex SWOT analysis’.

Three disagreeable patent lawyers.

Two contradictory marketing strategies,

And one totally new direction for the company.

Where’s Sir Richard Branson when you need him?

On the tenth day of entrepreneurship,

my angels gave to me,

TEN Silicone Valley rejected interns.

That’s a lot of nerd trash.

Nine outdated web articles.

Eight equity investors each wanting 50 plus one of the business.

Seven slick marketing slogans, using the old branding.

Six useless overpriced consultants.

Five Venture Capitalists in fowl moods.

Four new complex SWOT analysis’.

Three disagreeable patent lawyers.

Two contradictory marketing strategies,

And one totally new direction for the company.

Business school never said it was going to be like this!

On the eleventh day of entrepreneurship,

my angels gave to me,

ELEVEN mad scientists hell-bent on taking over the world.

I didn’t think it would end like this!

Ten Silicone Valley rejected interns.

Nine outdated web articles.

Eight equity investors each wanting 50 plus one of the business.

Seven slick marketing slogans, using the old branding.

Six useless overpriced consultants.

Five Venture Capitalists in fowl moods.

Four new complex SWOT analysis’.

Three disagreeable patent lawyers.

Two contradictory marketing strategies,

And one totally new direction for the company.

What’s that smell?

I smell burning?

MONEY on fire!?!?! 

OMG the mad scientists are lighting up thousands like they are brickets! 

That’ll kill our burn rate.

On the twelfth day of entrepreneurship, 

my angels gave to me,

TWELVE wanna-be CEOs.

Follow the leader? Which one?

Eleven mad scientists hell-bent on taking over the world.

Ten Silicone Valley rejected interns.

Nine outdated web articles.

Eight equity investors each wanting 50 plus one of the business.

Seven slick marketing slogans, using the old branding.

Six useless overpriced consultants.

Five Venture Capitalists in fowl moods.

Four new complex SWOT analysis’.

Three disagreeable patent lawyers.

Two contradictory marketing strategies,

And one totally new direction for the company.

Tell those mad scientists they are on their own.

That’s it!

I quit.

I’m going to work at McDonald’s.

Happy Holidays to all our friends, fans, followers and anyone else we have had the pleasure of getting to know over the past year and previous years.

P.S.

We’re only joking about our angels. We love everyone that works with us, for us and with us to make the world a better place. Now go out and hug a Silicone Valley rejected intern today.