Why You Don’t Know What You Need to Know Right Now and Ways to Fix That in a Hurry

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“I’m sorry, I didn’t know I was supposed to do that. . . “

“What do you mean I overstepped my authority? You told me to do what I thought best.”

“You did WHAT?!?!”

Funny, sad, ironic – we live in an era where we can reach out to anyone, at anytime, anywhere across the globe – yet we don’t talk to those working for us, with us, or among us, be it around the corner, down the hall, or even standing next to each other in the same room.

It’s why you don’t know what you need to know right now.

Communication.

Or, rather – lack of communication – is why we’re constantly apologizing to our staff, our colleagues, our business partners, even our better halves.

It’s why arguments, disagreements, anger, and frustration with each other happens.

It can turn a positive, fun, and enjoyable corporate culture into a living hell.

And it’s dangerous.

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I met with a young person recently, that began as an intern, and was now charged with the task of building the business by his bosses – the owners of the business.

He told me he doesn’t use contracts, but if I wanted one, that I should just “send me anything, and I’ll sign it.”

That kind of attitude could easily cost not only this person his job, but his bosses their company.

Luckily, I’m a nice guy, and just walked away from the company.

I don’t do business on a hand-shake alone.

Though, it’s an example – a blatantly serious example – of how dangerous lack of communications in business is.

The former intern, now business developer, should have been given clear expectations of what is expected in his new role. And, you’d hope that he’d be bright enough to communicate with his boss anything that wasn’t covered, BEFORE taking action.

Because, if I wasn’t such a nice guy, I could have easily given him a lengthy contract, filled with page after page of legal mumble jumble, which he’d sign, giving me some outrageous thing that could easily bankrupt the business.

Think that never happens in business?

Years ago, investigative journalism television show “60 Minutes” did a piece about various male executives in the auto sector, taking clients to strip clubs on the day the “big deal” was to be signed. They did this, because the other male executives would be so caught up with the naked chicks, they wouldn’t notice the last minute changes made to the contracts they just signed.

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Granted, this is a form of distraction – not a lack of communications. However, it paints a nasty picture of how low corporate ethics and values may be at some companies.

So low, that a lack of communications could be a fatal blow to a business’s bottom-line.

Which brings us back to why you don’t know what you need to know right now.

Because you’ve been doing what most people do at work these days – NOT talking to your staff, your teams, your colleagues or even your boss.

Here’s how you fix that – right now.

Get to Know Your Colleagues Communication Styles

Think about who you’re communicating with and how they communicate with you. Introverts think through things on their own – so email with a follow-up call after they’ve had chance to absorb and think about it works best. 

Extroverts like to talk through a solution, so a face-to-face meeting, where you mention the issue, and let them talk, probably is the best course of action. They may also enjoy using a whiteboard, to work out their problems in a mind map.

Meet More Often, But For Less Time

Finding time when everyone can get together is tough enough, but don’t waste precious time. Shorter meetings provide a definitive end time to the meeting, making everyone focus on what needs to be done. Having more frequent short meetings – say a 10-minute checkup the next day – sets the expectation as to what everyone should be accomplishing by the next meeting, and this pattern connects people, while improving the overall workflow process.

Get Out of the Office

I’ve been known as a coffee shop fiend, for constantly taking people out to grab a coffee to discuss important and even mundane tasks. It’s a great way to break the ice, get to know your colleagues, and to establish an open communications dialogue between you and those you work with. Going out for drinks after work, grabbing lunch together, even walking to the parking lot or subway are also great ways to connect with colleagues, and open the doors of communications.

Be Mindful of How You Respond

Quick – your colleague is yelling and screaming at you. Do you:

1.  Yell and scream back
2. Try to talk loudly over their yelling to drown them out
3. Talk softly, slowly, and deliberately in between their outbursts
4. Walk away, ignore them – how dare they yell at you!

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The correct answer is 3 – talk softly, slowly and deliberately in between their outbursts. By lowering your speaking voice, you take the passive stand, and force them to listen to you. By slowing your speaking style, you send out a wave of calm, over their angered storm. And by waiting for them to stop talking, before you talk, you are showing you are listening to them – instead of just brushing them off.

If the yeller is relatively normal, they’ll calm down, so you can both work through the problem, rather than getting into a yelling match, or worse, a fistfight.

Be aware of how your responses can improve the situation, or make matters worse. Try to aim for a calm collaboration, rather than heated debates. Think about what your body language is saying, your tone of voice, your level of volume – all can be just as important as what is actually said.

The main thing from all of this is to get you to communicate with each other. Because not knowing what you need to know right now, is killing your business.

Beware Anyone Doing Business Completely Sans Paper

Live and learn. Or so the saying goes, but sometimes we never just learn, despite our inner voice warning us away.

Recently, I had that experience, as I had stumbled on what I thought would be a fruitful business relationship. We both had something mutually of interest to offer the other professionally, and had initially agreed upon the terms of service over the phone.

Then came time to do the deal – or so I thought. Turns out, our brief phone call was the deal, at least in the mind of the other party to this “business” relationship.

I’ve always been weary of those that won’t put things down in writing. We hear time and again how flimsy verbal agreements are, how they don’t really hold up in court because they depend on a judges’ interpretations of what each person claims the other said.

Even in our modern era of emails, instant messages and SMS text messages, I get cold feet when someone sends me the terms of a deal only via one of these digital forms of communications.

Not that I expect the worst, but anytime someone tells you "let’s just shake on it" – walk away.

I should have run away prior to latching onto one of these “business” people. Any legitimate business person wouldn’t even THINK of doing any business deal on the basis of nothing more than a smile.

That smile sure didn’t last long with this “business” person.

I got suckered in by the passion for what I do, and the opportunity to share that passion with the world. The business looked legit – they had a website.

"Hey Jordan, my five-year-old kid can create a website."

Now you tell me . . .

At first everything was great, I did my part of the deal, they did theirs. 

Then, a couple of months in, they started to change. They weren’t living up to the terms of our verbal “agreement.” Sometimes they were early, most of the time they were late.

Then for a while there was a string of early deliverables, which was followed by requests for additional ones on my part.

This wasn’t part of our original verbal “agreement” but they quickly amended our non-existent arrangement via email.

I didn’t mind, so I went along with it, for another few months. Then they asked me to do even more but at a fraction of the price.

I thought about negotiating. But how do you negotiate when you have nothing in writing to back you up? As it was, I wasn’t happy with myself for signing a non-existent agreement.

That little voice in my head kept nagging me, calling me a fool. Telling me "you'll be sorry."

I’ve been burned in the past by verbal agreements when I was young and naive. And part of me was questioning my own intelligence and business savvy, having fallen into another verbal agreement so many years later.

I declined their additional requests, but said I was happy to continue with our current “agreement.”

They obviously took great offense to this, as the pattern of their lateness began again – even increasing to the point where I started wondering how I was ever going to exit this situation gracefully and without harm to my interests.

Then they decided to give me “notice” via email to amend our non-existent agreement cutting both their and my deliverables down by half.

"How can you give me notice for a contract that doesn’t exist?" I scoffed.

Then it dawned on me, you can’t. There’s nothing binding between us. They have nothing to give “notice” on, for or with, according to my legal team. In fact, if you don’t have anything in writing, there is no binding agreement. The word "notice" has to refer to something already defined in writing, usually (but not exclusively -- my lawyers point out) another word: "term."

A verbal contract is no more binding than the air it is “written” on.

“You might as well have signed it with invisible ink,” said one legal expert.

So you’re free to leave it at anytime, and without any notice he tells me.

And that’s what I did.

Though I did let them know via email.

I wanted to send a letter. 

You know, one of those old fashioned documents printed on paper. 

I like things in writing. I’m funny that way.