Why You Don’t Know What You Need to Know Right Now and Ways to Fix That in a Hurry

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“I’m sorry, I didn’t know I was supposed to do that. . . “

“What do you mean I overstepped my authority? You told me to do what I thought best.”

“You did WHAT?!?!”

Funny, sad, ironic – we live in an era where we can reach out to anyone, at anytime, anywhere across the globe – yet we don’t talk to those working for us, with us, or among us, be it around the corner, down the hall, or even standing next to each other in the same room.

It’s why you don’t know what you need to know right now.

Communication.

Or, rather – lack of communication – is why we’re constantly apologizing to our staff, our colleagues, our business partners, even our better halves.

It’s why arguments, disagreements, anger, and frustration with each other happens.

It can turn a positive, fun, and enjoyable corporate culture into a living hell.

And it’s dangerous.

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I met with a young person recently, that began as an intern, and was now charged with the task of building the business by his bosses – the owners of the business.

He told me he doesn’t use contracts, but if I wanted one, that I should just “send me anything, and I’ll sign it.”

That kind of attitude could easily cost not only this person his job, but his bosses their company.

Luckily, I’m a nice guy, and just walked away from the company.

I don’t do business on a hand-shake alone.

Though, it’s an example – a blatantly serious example – of how dangerous lack of communications in business is.

The former intern, now business developer, should have been given clear expectations of what is expected in his new role. And, you’d hope that he’d be bright enough to communicate with his boss anything that wasn’t covered, BEFORE taking action.

Because, if I wasn’t such a nice guy, I could have easily given him a lengthy contract, filled with page after page of legal mumble jumble, which he’d sign, giving me some outrageous thing that could easily bankrupt the business.

Think that never happens in business?

Years ago, investigative journalism television show “60 Minutes” did a piece about various male executives in the auto sector, taking clients to strip clubs on the day the “big deal” was to be signed. They did this, because the other male executives would be so caught up with the naked chicks, they wouldn’t notice the last minute changes made to the contracts they just signed.

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Granted, this is a form of distraction – not a lack of communications. However, it paints a nasty picture of how low corporate ethics and values may be at some companies.

So low, that a lack of communications could be a fatal blow to a business’s bottom-line.

Which brings us back to why you don’t know what you need to know right now.

Because you’ve been doing what most people do at work these days – NOT talking to your staff, your teams, your colleagues or even your boss.

Here’s how you fix that – right now.

Get to Know Your Colleagues Communication Styles

Think about who you’re communicating with and how they communicate with you. Introverts think through things on their own – so email with a follow-up call after they’ve had chance to absorb and think about it works best. 

Extroverts like to talk through a solution, so a face-to-face meeting, where you mention the issue, and let them talk, probably is the best course of action. They may also enjoy using a whiteboard, to work out their problems in a mind map.

Meet More Often, But For Less Time

Finding time when everyone can get together is tough enough, but don’t waste precious time. Shorter meetings provide a definitive end time to the meeting, making everyone focus on what needs to be done. Having more frequent short meetings – say a 10-minute checkup the next day – sets the expectation as to what everyone should be accomplishing by the next meeting, and this pattern connects people, while improving the overall workflow process.

Get Out of the Office

I’ve been known as a coffee shop fiend, for constantly taking people out to grab a coffee to discuss important and even mundane tasks. It’s a great way to break the ice, get to know your colleagues, and to establish an open communications dialogue between you and those you work with. Going out for drinks after work, grabbing lunch together, even walking to the parking lot or subway are also great ways to connect with colleagues, and open the doors of communications.

Be Mindful of How You Respond

Quick – your colleague is yelling and screaming at you. Do you:

1.  Yell and scream back
2. Try to talk loudly over their yelling to drown them out
3. Talk softly, slowly, and deliberately in between their outbursts
4. Walk away, ignore them – how dare they yell at you!

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The correct answer is 3 – talk softly, slowly and deliberately in between their outbursts. By lowering your speaking voice, you take the passive stand, and force them to listen to you. By slowing your speaking style, you send out a wave of calm, over their angered storm. And by waiting for them to stop talking, before you talk, you are showing you are listening to them – instead of just brushing them off.

If the yeller is relatively normal, they’ll calm down, so you can both work through the problem, rather than getting into a yelling match, or worse, a fistfight.

Be aware of how your responses can improve the situation, or make matters worse. Try to aim for a calm collaboration, rather than heated debates. Think about what your body language is saying, your tone of voice, your level of volume – all can be just as important as what is actually said.

The main thing from all of this is to get you to communicate with each other. Because not knowing what you need to know right now, is killing your business.

Entrepreneur or Employee? Survey Says Employees Earn at Least 50% Less

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Most of us were taught go to school, get a job, work hard, you’ll be rewarded.

The mere thought about doing anything else is so foreign to us, that we often shun those that have chosen another path, despite their success.

However, that latest statistics are in, and if you stay with the same employer for over two-years, you’ll earn an whopping fifty percent less in your lifetime than you would if you had job-hopped to bigger bucks, every year – which isn’t always possible – or – gulp – had you made your own wealth as an entrepreneur.

That figure – fifty percent less in your employment lifetime – is a conservative number, based on average annual three percent wage increases employers give their full-time employees.

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However, looking at current rates of inflation based on the Consumer Price Index (CPI), that average annual raise is actually less than one percent.

That’s an alarming wake-up call to anyone sitting in their corporate cubicle, thinking that their employer actually values their work.

Put another way, it’s like renting versus owning your home.

If you rent, you don’t own the land and anything built on the land, so you don’t have any equity. And you are at the mercy of the landlord, in terms of what is and is not acceptable use of that land and anything built on it.

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If you own your home, you OWN it – you can spruce it up to add value to it. Use it as you please. Even sell it when it’s worth more than you purchased it, and have more money in your pocket.

You can start with a small home. Fix it up, add some landscaping, maybe a deck, even a fresh coat of paint. That increases it’s value, so you can sell it for more than you originally paid.

Then, you can “flip” it – sell it at the new, higher value price – and purchase a bigger, and better home. Fix that up, maybe add an addition, widen the driveway, whatever – it increases it’s value.

Then you flip that house, and get another one, this one even bigger and better than the previous two.

Being an employee is like renting – you don’t have a say in the business, and you certainly don’t have any equity in the business.

Being an entrepreneur is like owning your home. You have a say in every aspect of the business – from the initial vision, to how you treat your customers, your staff, and your suppliers.

 

You can build up a great business, until it’s at the right “sweet spot” where it’s earning substantial revenues, or starting to actually catch the eyes of your competitors. So, you sell it, at a higher valuation than what it was worth when you started it.

In a way, you can flip businesses just like you flip houses.

So, you take all the money you made from selling your business, and build another one.

You take that business to the right sweet spot, and eventually sell that too.

Or, you can keep growing the same business – so long as it is a growing business.

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Either way, being an entrepreneur is so much more rewarding than being an employee.

Entrepreneurs shape their companies, much like home owners personalize their homes. Entrepreneurs add value to their businesses, much as home owners do by renovations.

Employees are just renting their jobs from their entrepreneurial employers – and losing fifty percent – or more – of their wages as a result.

Don’t rent your career, make it your own.

Be an entrepreneur.

Looking for a Job? Any Job? I’ll Never Hire You

I do a lot of networking, it’s key for entrepreneurs – or really anyone – these days. From social meetups to professional ones, to just bumping into strangers at a ballgame, or while out for a bite to eat, you really never know who you may meet, or more importantly, how you may help each other.

Lots of the fine folks I meet are either underemployed or unemployed. Kudos to them for being brave, and when I ask what they do, they tell me directly that they are looking for work.

When I was – well – younger – looking for work was almost shameful.

“I’m in between jobs,” many would say, as they were ashamed, even embarrassed to be looking for a job.

Everyone had a job, and if you didn’t, others would wonder: “what’s wrong with you?”

Looking back, that’s probably not the right attitude, but that was the prevailing way we thought of ourselves, our work, and our lives back then.

There isn’t anything wrong with being out of work. It happens, people outgrow companies, and companies outgrow people. It’s the nature of our human-driven social structure.

These days, more people are looking for work than ever before. Not because there is this sudden influx of jobs. No. Sadly, it’s quite the opposite. The economy has shifted across our global working world, tossing more than a quarter of the planet’s population out of work.

So, looking for a job is no longer a shameful thing, and it certainly is a lot more of the commonality people have at many networking functions.

Being underemployed or unemployed is so common, the immediate standard response to someone looking for work has become: “so, what are you looking for?”

Or at least, being an entrepreneur that may hire someone, or know others that may be looking to hire people, I always ask that.

“Anything,” or “I don’t know,” or “something better, anything better, than I’m doing now,” are the worst possible answers.

Looking for a job? Any job? I won’t hire you.

I don’t have just any job at my company, and I bet most business owners would agree with me on this.

PASSION is one of the most important things I look for in bringing anyone aboard my team. 

PASSION is falling in love with a specific job, industry or career path. Studies show that those who are passionate about what they do, will do it far better than those who aren’t.

Though PASSION is important for many other reasons too.

In creating the perfect workplace, I want to only hire people that WANT to be there. I don’t want people working for me that dread getting up in the morning, because they have to go to work. I want people that leap out of their lover’s arms, because they just can’t wait to get to work.

Well, okay, maybe not that passionate. But close.

People that hate their jobs, bring down the entire workplace. Negative attitudes about the company, the management, the work, or even the furniture are more easily contagious than positive ones. Even to those that don’t agree – because when someone lacks passion for their work, they usually have an abundance of passion against their work.

Negative colleagues spread rumors, talk behind other’s back, mock management, don’t arrive on time, and may even slack-off at their tasks.

And worse, negative colleagues can turn positive, passionate ones into negative ones, so even those that love what they do and where they do it could become slackers spreading stories.

So if we ever meet and you’re looking for work, and I ask you what you are looking for, you’d better have any answer other than: “anything.”

Because if you tell me “anything” you’ll never work for me – nor be recommended by me to others.

We’re not children, I’m not asking you what you want to be when you grow-up. This isn’t recess – it’s life.

And if you really don’t know what you are passionate about, and what you want out of life, you’d better find it – fast.

Want the Best Working for You? Pay Them When You Say

One of the most frustrating things I endured when I was a consultant were late payments.

It’s one thing to pay your credit card, cable or cell phone bills late. It’s another to pay human beings working for you late, because those people depend on that money to pay their credit card, cable or cell phone bills.

I understand the nature of small business, and how cash flow is king. However, even the most loved kings have been knocked from their thrones, when they’ve failed their subjects.

Not that entrepreneurs are kings, and those working for them are their property.

But you’d think that some have this flawed mentality, by the lack of respect they show those working for them, with the blatant disregard they have for living up to their promises, contracts, or other working relationships.

I’ve had clients who constantly needed to be reminded of their past due payments. I’ve also had clients who had a tradition of paying late, suddenly pay early, only to show their true stripes by requesting additional work, or projects.

It’s nice to earn the respect of a client to the point that they request more. It’s not so nice when they go back to paying late after they no longer need or want those extra services, or if you declined their original offer, because they wanted it done at a ridiculously below market value cost.

Failing to respect those working for you isn’t just unprofessional and rude, but really can lead to major misunderstandings as well.

Nasty rumours start in companies by people that don’t feel welcome being there. It doesn’t matter if the person is a full-time or part-time employee, a contractor, or a consultant – if the higher-ups running the show don’t make them feel wanted, respected and valued, they’ll become a bigger problem quickly.

Because the biggest problem in all the companies I’ve ever worked for is communications. And the biggest communications problems start when the company’s people feel unwanted, disrespected or undervalued.

And the surest and quickest way to make anyone working for you to feel unwanted, disrespected or undervalued is to not pay them when you agreed too.

That’s just common sense, and part of being a responsible business owner, always pay your people on time.

It’s wonderful how business schools these days are teaching the latest in management theory, lean start-up, even basic marketing and bookkeeping. What they should also be teaching those wantrepreneurs is the most valuable lesson of them all – always pay your people on time.

Most employees live pay-cheque-to-pay-cheque, so if you are a bad a boss, they’ll stick with you, until they find another job.

Problem is, finding work in today’s economy isn’t quick and easy. So, while you think you have a loyal and dedicated person working for you, secretly, behind your back, they’ll be looking to replace you as their boss.

While people look for another boss, they often spread rumours, or worse – tell their tales of their woe, their feelings of disrespect, and the horrors of working for you.

Although workplace rumours can kill a company, nothing stops great people working for a company faster than horror stories from those who have or currently work there.

So, by paying your people late, you could be cutting off the flow of the most important resource a company needs – it’s people. 

Why Millennial’s Can’t Get a Job? Here’s a Hint: TXT MSG

Wrap your big brain around this . . .

Out of the hundreds of resumes people send you for a current job posting, you finally narrow down 10 really good ones, so you call them.

You get voicemail. Understandable, they don’t recognize your number. So you leave a warm and polite message, something like:

Hi John, this is Jordan Green at Blurrv Media Inc., I’m calling about a resume you sent us in regards to the Account Manager job. I was impressed with your resume, and wanted to chat with you about the company, the job and learn about you in the process. Please call me at . . . thank you.

I go about my day. No call back. Next day – no call back. DAYS later – still nothing.

Less than 10 percent of the people who send me resumes to the jobs we have posted are calling back.

Then it dawned on me, I remember reading several articles about how people under 30 don’t talk on the phone anymore. They text, instant message, even use it to emphasize key points when gesturing in a restaurant – but they don’t TALK anymore.

“Every time I see my voicemail icon pop up, I think, oh God, who died?” said one young person in one of the reports I read.

So, I decided to try an experiment. Instead of calling people who sent me a resume, I sent a short text message:

Thx for the CV. If u r still looking for work, please call me at this # and we can discuss.

(I even used texting slang. So unprofessional! I know!)

EVERYONE I texted called back. Well, okay, one person texted me back:

Yeah, Im still uneployed. Who is this?

(I even used her txting slang. So unprofessional! She’ll be looking 4work 4ver!)

Upon finally connecting voice with the rest, I’d ask: Did you get my voicemail?

They all said something along the lines of: “Oh, I never check my messages.”

One person admitted that when her voicemail gets full, she just deletes them without listening to them first.

The idea, as ridiculous as it was, to text potential job candidates, because they weren’t checking their messages, came to me because I received a text in regards to a message I had left on a prospect’s voicemail:

Hi, I just got a call frm this numb. If u r a telemarketer, DO NOT CALL BACK. Otherwise, what do you want?

(I even used her rude, unprofessional tone of voice. I know – who’d want to hire her EVER?)

I think our politicians can stop promising job creation, and focus their lies – I mean their campaign pitches – on more productive avenues.

I’ve finally figured out why the under 30 crowd can’t find work.

They only text message. Well, they do a lot more than that on their mobile devices, from snapping self-absorbed pictures of themselves (selfies) to surfing the net, to listening to music.

They just don't talk on the thing, or check it's messages.

(How do they expect to get a job if they don’t answer the phone?)

That’s a very good question.

My answer – wait – let me text it to you:

They prolly dnt farther ahead than their current txt msg convo.

What?

I said, they probably don’t think farther ahead than their current text message conversation.

It’s so unprofessional to text someone that sent you a resume in confidence.

It’d be like a woman sending her boyfriend a romantic text message while his unknowing wife is using his phone – nothing good can come from this.

And nothing good can come from a generation that can’t communicate.

Not that texting isn’t a FORM of communications, it’s just the wrong one for landing a job.

Part of the reason employers want to TALK ON THE PHONE as a point of first contact is to evaluate a potential employee’s communications skills, and get a sense for who they are.

We want to see how they express themselves, get a sense of their personality, their character and so much more than you could ever get from a text message, regardless of how many emoticons you toss in.

Not that condensing one’s thoughts into short snappy sentences isn’t a skill.

But I’m sure even the staff at Twitter needs to be able to use more than 140 characters to do their jobs, because if they didn’t, that company would have closed it’s doors and gone belly-up by now.

So, if you’re under 30, looking for work, and wondering why you haven’t been getting called back, perhaps you should LISTEN to your messages BEFORE deleting them.

(I knw, makes sense! So clear. So concise. Common sense? Too bad ppl -30 dnt this way.)

ATTACKED! How a Drunken Stoned Homeless Man and a Job Seeker Made My Week Hell

I’m certainly glad last week is history, because it was a hell of a week – or rather a week of hell.

It started off well, the usual business of running a business. But towards the end of the week, I was lucky to get out with my life.

Thursday evening I was in the poor, rundown, Yonge and College street area of Toronto for the Wildsound Film Festival. It’s a great little unknown gem of a film fest, where five to six independently produced short films from around the world are shown in one night, and everyone attending gets to participate in the discussions about the films.

In keeping with the ambiance of the magic of movie making, the Wildsound Film Festival takes place in one of the oldest movie houses in Toronto – the Carlton Cinemas. It’s a historic building, one of the first movie theatres in the city, and it’s got a lot of amazing character, with much of it’s original architectural wooden rustic design and charm.

There are also historic movie posters, and wonderful works of art by local artists on display, reminding you of what it was like to watch a movie before the megaplexes of today, with their raked cinema seating, and sticky soda-pop-soaked floors.

Although the theatre shines as a beacon from a time long since gone, when going to the movies was an event, not just another night out, the surrounding neighborhood has become an urban slum.

There are always homeless people lying on the sewer grates and pan-handling passersby from just about every corner, as the crumbling infrastructure of low income subsidized apartments crashes into the skyline of the modernized recently built condos, both fighting for their equal space in a city with a hidden reality.

It’s a sad silent reality sweeping across Canada’s largest city – wealthy building and construction firms buy entire city blocks, while their executives “donate” to politician’s political campaigns, so that their requests to demolish the older, rental units and put up luxurious high-rise condos get passed.

Sure, residents of the rental units get first dibs on the new condos which replace their rental apartments – but think about it – if you could afford to buy a condo – wouldn’t you already be living in a condo? Those who rent can’t afford to buy, and so they end up being tossed out of their homes, so some greedy land developer can make a mint off of their prime real estate.

This problem gets worse, as the numbers of rental units falls, due to the increase in condos built.

As this sad silent reality has been going on for some time, the numbers of people homeless in Toronto has skyrocketed.

And that’s very evident from the horrors which I experienced last Thursday, as we stopped into a local McDonald’s to grab a quick bite before the film festival.

We were standing in line, undecided what to eat. So when our turn came in line, we did a Canadian thing, and politely let the person behind us go ahead, while we continued to ponder over the menu.

The person behind us thanked us, and practically fell over us, barely able to keep steady on his own two feet.

He was a black man, with scruffy dark hair, in jeans and a red jacket, dancing to some unheard beat in his own head. Though he wasn’t wearing earphones, and by his loud and vulgar language when he placed his order, indicated he wasn’t all there.

He acted like someone who feasted upon a recipe of drugs, booze, and who knows what else. And he continued to make a scene as he paid for his burger and fries entirely out of coins, probably from what he managed to cobble together from begging.

With his tray of greasy fast food, he went over to the condiments section, and took massive amounts of napkins, straws, and other things. Mumbling to himself, while dancing to the songs in his drug induced mind.

He freaked out those around him, and was repeatedly told by the staff to take a seat.

Eventually he did, right next to our table.

We quickly got up and moved to another table.

Usually, dinners out, even at a fast food restaurant, are times for enjoyable chit-chat. My poor girlfriend was so scared, she was wolfing down her burger and fries like it was her last meal.

I kept trying to re-assure her everything would be alright.

Then, the homeless druggy came over to our table, put his hand on my back, and thanked me for letting him ahead of us.

My girlfriend bolted to the door, and I tried to escape too – saying it wasn’t a big deal.

He wouldn’t take his arm off my back, despite me trying to get up. He told me he was homeless, and asked me if I had any change.

I told him I didn’t.

He didn’t believe me, said how hard it was to be on the street.

I took out my wallet, and showed him how empty it was – just the usual plastic.

He started pointing to my change compartment of my wallet, saying how that didn’t look empty. And that’s when I just got up, leaving whatever food I hadn’t eaten, and joined my girlfriend who was now almost on the other block outside.

She was shaking like I’ve never seen before. She grabbed hold of me, and pulled me with her, as her flight of fright took her in an almost run anywhere but near that crazy homeless man.

Eventually I managed to calm her down, and we made our way to the theatre and had a great time, sinking into the world of short films, and the engaging discussions.

But I’ll never forget the horrors of the homeless, especially as they scared the hell out of both of us.

And that wasn’t the end of my week of hell.

The next day, I met with a woman, probably in her twenties or early thirties, about a job. She was seeking employment, and we are looking for account managers to handle our advertising sales clients.

Her resume was interesting and read of someone with experience in the marketing world. Her initial attitude and interest caught my eye during our phone interview, and I thought she could apply her background to our advertising sales team.

However, all that changed when I met Seema Doad in person, and she gave me the third degree, challenging my company’s business model.

Hold on a sec . . . Seema, YOU are the one seeking employment from me, and yet YOU are challenging my company’s vision and direction?

Perhaps she was having a bad day and just unleashed her frustrations on the first person in her path?

Being an open, honest, and good-natured person, I attempted to answer her questions, but Seema Doad wouldn’t accept my answers, continuing to argue with me over my corporate vision, our business strategies and although she hadn’t any knowledge of our business plan, she continued to tell me it couldn’t be done.

I don’t want people to kiss my butt – I hate that – but I do expect anyone we hire to believe in our vision, our direction and to especially be respectful of everyone.

Seema, you don't believe in our vision, nor in our direction – and you certainly were not respectful of anyone in our meeting, arguing with the very person who could have offered you a real job.

And that's the kicker, because we always hear how employers force job candidates to do outrageous things to get a job. All I did, as the potential employer, was try to answer your questions, which you tossed back at me, in an angry hostile and very demeaning manner.

Although Seema, you may be in luck, I did see a “Help Wanted” sign in the window of that McDonald’s where the drunken drugged out homeless dude frequents. Just remember if you go off on one of your rants, to ask: “do you want fries with that?”

When Job Interviewees Go Postal on the One Holding the Keys to the Cubicle

We’ve all heard about job interviews that go off the rails, usually caused by potential employers asking things they shouldn’t and forcing job candidates to jump through outrageous hoops just for the possibility of an interview.

What about when a job interview becomes hell on Earth, because of a snippy job seeker?

Last week, a potential employee exploded at me, within the first 15-seconds of the interview. I hadn’t even got off a single question.

I began as I always do, introducing myself, thanking him for his time, outlining the objectives of our meeting, and just as I took a breath he interrupted me saying: “Look, I’ve been around the block a few times, let’s cut to the chase. I currently earn a six figure income, have people begging me to work for them, and really just want to know if this is a contract, if it’s salary-based, if there’s a commission, and when do I start?”

I was completely unsettled by this abrupt interruption, by someone who’s last position on their resume was dated June of 2012.

I hadn’t expected to run into someone working at some mystery company that isn’t listed on their resume, earning a “six figure income” for a job where the industry average is about $60K. 

Nor did I expect to be pushed into a corner by a hostile job seeker that has “been around the block” and has “people begging him to work for them.” Though he did ask when we’d hire him.

I understand looking for work is a precarious and fragile situation. Some may be on their last nickel and dimes literally, as their prolonged job hunt bleeds their bank accounts dry. Others may have gone through the horrendous downsizing that unfortunately has become the new norm, replaced by temporary contractors. They themselves may have fallen into the unstable temporary contractor world, where the only jobs they seem to get are the ones with a start date and an end date.

I understand how horrible all of those pressures are.

But I never, NEVER – EVER – would have anticipated that pressure would explode, unleashing the worst in people – at a time when people are trying to show their best.

I’m not new to hiring people, and I always like to start off introducing myself, the company, the role, and then move into the job candidate’s background. I don’t conduct interviews, I like to think of them as conversations. 

It’s not my management style to lock people in a room and demand action, I’ve always had an open door policy, where I encourage an atmosphere of collaboration and openness.

However, I might reconsider that open door policy, as this hostile job candidate wasn’t the only job seeker to attempt to hijack the interview.

Several others over the course of the week jumped off my traditional job interview course, demanding I hire them at outrageously high salaries, with benefits, because as one job seeker declared: “I’m sick and tired of working on contracts that don’t materialize into anything ever good.”

When I was a kid, growing up, I was taught to always go into a job interview with a freshly pressed suit and tie. I still remember my high school guidance counselor telling our class: “to make sure your socks are pulled up, your shoes are shiny, your hair is perfectly combed and you don’t have any stains on your perfectly white dress shirt.”

I was taught to show up early, give a firm handshake while looking the interviewer directly in the eye and to be respectful and polite at all times.

Back then, the notion of interrupting your potential boss before you even had the job was not even a thought in the most devious of delinquent minds.

Our world certainly has changed for the worse over the past few decades.

I blame recruitment firms, staffing agencies, and the corporate managers gullible enough to think recruitment firms are the messiah of their staffing needs.

Recruitment firms and staffing agencies go in with these slick presentations – I’ve seen them myself – telling employers how it’s not cost effective to hire people anymore. It makes more sense to hire a third-party company (the recruitment firm) to source “resources” (that’s how they refer to people) on a per project-basis.

My biggest problem with recruitment firms is they don’t care about the people resources they deploy. Which is understandable – they are a business, and a business’ primary interest is to make money.

However, they are in the business of supplying people to companies, so it’s ultimately not in their best interests to show such disregard for their primary product – people.

I’ve seen the end result this week – the people that have been shuffled in and out of the meat grinder of the recruitment firm’s temporary contracts become bitter, angry and disenfranchised with the world of work. Because they’ve been spun from contract, to contract, they no longer have any respect for those conducting job interviews.

Again, I get it. I understand the horrors of being bounced from company to company, department to department. One month having a decent pay cheque, the next you are flipping sofa pillows desperately looking for change to buy a loaf of bread as your bank account is negative.

However, I’ll never hire a hostile job candidate.

They don’t give me the respect which I expect everyone in my company to give each other.

And that’s the ultimate tragedy here, because chances are, the hostile job candidate that claimed he was making a six figure income is the guy sifting through his sofa, looking for change, because he’s been without a real job for a very long time.

Lost Your Job? Get Over It In These Five Stages – If You Want a New One

They say losing a job is just like losing a close friend or family member.

I never believed that, a job is not a friend or a family member – it’s a job. 

That is until I started networking and interviewing people for my team. I was reminded of this the other day.

I was talking with someone looking for another job, though he’s only been in his current role for less than six-months. So, naturally, I asked him why he was looking for work.

BIG MISTAKE

I always seem to make that mistake, though as an employer, it’s not a bad thing to know these things. It could be the company is going bust, has been sold and the new management has changed the direction and vision. Or it could be, as I painfully found out yesterday, this guy just wasn’t getting any satisfaction.

For the next ten-minutes, I had my ear chewed up and spit out, as this job seeker complained about how much money the company makes from his hard work, and how little he sees in return. He ranted on, and on, and on.

“Don’t they still advise people looking for work to never say anything negative about their current or past employers,” I thought to myself, as the guy continued his horror story.

I just kept quiet, and let him vent.

What else could I do?

Here’s some complete stranger, coughing up the spittle of spite and angst in his life.

I’m just glad it was over the phone, rather than in person. I hate spittle.

Though I’ve had that too.

I’ve sat across the table from someone I’ve just met moments before, go on a verbal assault of their current or past employer.

And again, I just sit and listen.

Just Let it Go

I realized in these, and other similar situations, that losing a job really is like losing a friend or member of the family. It’s part of the healing process we all go through when anything traumatic happens in our lives.

When we lose a job, a friend, or anything changes dramatically in our daily lives, we all go through the five stages of loss and grief:

1. Denial and Isolation

At first we protect ourselves from the loss, by blocking out the world and hiding from the reality of the situation. It’s a natural defense mechanism that helps us rationalize what happened. And that rationalization leads to the next level.

2. Anger

As we try to rationalize and come to grips with the loss, the pain re-emerges and as we are still not ready to move on, we’re still vulnerable. Because we no longer can deny the loss occurred, because we thought about it, we become angry.

This anger may be aimed at things (like your car, house, or a pillow), friends, family, or as in the case of the job seekers I’ve discussed, complete strangers, like me.

We logically know the thing or person we aim our anger at isn’t to blame, however our emotions run high, as our memories of the loss bring back the intense pain, which makes us more angry, and we need to release that anger.

The best course is to talk it out with someone who'll just listen. It helps to just get it out into the open and off your chest.

3. Bargaining

Eventually, as the anger subsides, we feel helpless, and still quite vulnerable. We try to regain control of our lives by 'thinking what if.'

What if I had worked harder on that last project?

What if I had only gone to the corporate holiday party?

What if I had only tried to be a better person?

Naturally, you don't have to try to be a better person, and there is nothing you can do now that you've already lost your job.

This is our mind's way of constantly rationalizing what happened, while looking for solutions to the problem. It's the lack of immediately available solutions that leads to the second last, yet hardest stage. 

4. Depression

This is the hardest hurdle to overcome for anyone going through these stages. Some people never fully get through their depression, which is the ultimate hardship, because if you don’t get past depression, you’ll never move on with your life.

There are actually two types of depression we go through during the loss of a job, a person, or anything close to us. The first is the actual reaction to the loss:

I don’t have a source of income.

I don’t have a job.

I don’t have a regular routine.

l'll never see my co-workers again.

What will I do now?
How will I survive?
What if I can't find work ever again?

This is often dealt with through talking it over with friends, family or a therapist, all of which offering support and encouragement that you’ll get another job and be in a better place soon.

The second form of depression is the more private and sometimes harder one to get through. It’s that little voice in our heads still trying to rationalize what happened, however at this point, we are now starting to also think towards the future and trying to figure out how to say good-bye to once was. 

Saying good-bye to a job isn’t easy. It’s not like you can just show up where you once worked and start shaking hands as you make your way out the building. 

Security!

Don't do that.

What you can do is WRITE. It helps to write out your thoughts and good-byes in a journal, or even a letter or an email – just don’t send that letter or email! This way, you can actually say good-bye to those you worked with, your boss, your co-workers, even the office pooch if there was one. Some even write a good-bye to their desk, their chair, their stack of papers and projects -- sounds silly -- but it does work.

YOU HAVE TO SAY GOOD-BYE.

That's the hardest part -- finally realizing that your life is different due to circumstances which may have completely been out of your control, yet you MUST SAY GOOD-BYE to the life you once had, or else you'll never move on to the final stage.

5. Acceptance

This is the breath of fresh air that suddenly appears out of nowhere. It’s like a light bulb suddenly ignited into brightness overhead, as you realize you are whole again, and ready to tackle the world. 

You’ve said your good-byes, got over your thoughts of denial, anger, bargaining and depression. You’re now ready to look for your next job – or maybe you’ve learned the hardships of relying on others for a pay cheque, and will take the bold step of becoming an entrepreneur?

Take it from someone that knows. Not just from interviewing potential job candidates, but even I have gone through all five stages.

We all do at some point in our lives. It's the natural course of dealing with a dramatic, often sudden and unpleasant loss in our lives -- be it the loss of a person, a pet, or a job.

And, after writing this, it got me thinking. There have been job interviews that I've blown by going off the handle as I was still going through the five stages of loss and grief while I looked for work while in the corporate world.

I learned my lessons of grief and acceptance, and about work too. It's far better to risk it all and be your own boss, than take the easy road and rely on someone else for a pay stub.

But that doesn't mean I'll never go through the five stages ever again -- that's just part of being human.