What “Friend” Means in the Era of Social Media

Stolen right from the pages of Star Trek lore, physicists in Texas are working on a way to make physical objects invisible by bending light waves.

Despite the similarity to the Romulan Bird of Prey cloaking technology from the 1960’s television show Star Trek, which hid these enemy ships from the Enterprise crew during battle, we’ve all had access to our own personal cloaking device.

Many instant messaging programs allow you to be cloaked, so you can see your friends online, but they can’t see you.

In Microsoft’s Skype, you can change your status to “Invisible” which allows you to see any of your contacts online, while maintaining your appearance as “Offline” – in effect, hidden from view, or cloaked.

This begs the question – why would you hide from your friends?

Perhaps the word “friend” has changed thanks to Facebook, Twitter, Google Plus, and all the other social media sites.

It isn’t uncommon to have a few hundred, or even a few thousand “friends” following your every post, tweet and hangout.

Used to be, you’d only really call someone a “friend” if you actually liked spending time with someone in the here and now, in the real world.

These days, people “friend” each other on Facebook, and the other social networking sites without really ever knowing who they are in the real world.

Many add complete strangers as friends, and then in turn, you feel compelled – almost guilt-ed – into adding them back – even though you haven’t a clue who they are.

For all you know, you may have added the next Charles Manson, or some other mass murderer as one of your online “friends.”

But don’t worry, the police probably won’t come knocking on your door.

The word “friend” really has changed thanks to Mark Zuckerberg’s Facebook.

What was once used to reference people we actually knew, liked and in many cases loved, is now a loose and ambiguous term for the strangers we occasionally share random thoughts with.

We all have real friends – or at least I hope you do – that you can really depend on in a pinch.

They listen to us vent, share in our joy, and are there when we need a shoulder and a hug.

And some have been lucky to really connect with those online, and may even have some friends from their social networks they can vent, share and hug too.

However, for the most part, having a zillion “friends” online doesn’t mean you have a zillion people you can depend on.

But I suppose it’s nice to believe that.

Has Our Digital World Destroyed the Next Generation?

As I grow my new business, I’m talking to all sorts of folks who are looking for work, and want to join my fledgling new venture.

But I’m noticing a disturbing trend with many of the young adults I’m talking too – sort of a lacklustre aloofness. It’s as if they are just floating through life, without a care in the world.

I’m not unsympathetic, when I was in my early twenties I was still very much discovering myself. 

But at least I was trying different things, taking on the adventures the world tossed my way openly, as I feasted on all the new things I was learning about the world around me, and myself.

But kids today seem to lack that sense of self-exploration which my generation had. They are too tied to their mobile devices, their tech toys, and their small circles of close friends which are also tied to their mobile tech toys.

Has our digital world destroyed the next generation?

Are kids today so enveloped in technology, they have forgotten the world around them?

I’m building an on-demand television network, so when someone tells me they've always wanted to be on television, shoot a camera, edit a video, or just work within a television production, and I ask them why, I expect a long-winded answer.

Usually when someone is really interested in something, you can’t shut them up. If someone asks you about something you are passionate about, you should be able to go on, and on, and on – like the Energizer Bunny. 

But when I ask young adults why they've always wanted to be a TV reporter, host, producer or any other role we have, I usually get a deadpan answer more fitting for someone about to have a root canal than talk about their life-long dream.

When I ask them what they watch, read or listen to for inspiration in their self-admitted life-long dream, they usually tell me they don’t watch, read or listen to anything of the sort.

Even before I did my graduate work in broadcast journalism, while I was doing my undergraduate degree in a completely different field, I watched every major newscast, listened to various radio news shows, read all the daily papers, numerous magazines, and biographies of all the big name reporters, news anchors, publishers and producers.

If someone asked me why I wanted to be a journalist, I’d light up like a tree at Christmas, talking up a storm about the business which fuelled the fire of my soul.

These days, the only thing apparently igniting the souls of our future generations are their tech toys.

They are nose-deep buried in their mobile devices, texting tweeting and updating their social networks.

Although to a degree, I’m also buried in my mobile tech toys, I still have a passion, an interest – hell – a life – outside and away from my digital world.

Although I’m starting a digital media company, I know there is more to it than just being immersed in the digital world – as with any technology-based company.

No matter how dependent upon technology we all become, end of the day, it’s not iPhones, BlackBerry phones, laptops or tablets which make the world work – it’s people.

There’s an old saying, that those who are exceptionally good at what they do, have a real passion for what they do. They don’t just go to work, they go to play.

I've always believed in that – and hoped my passion for my work shone through in my work’s quality.

However, I’m concerned that future generations are so digitally distracted, they lack any passion for what they do.

Not just because the quality of their work suffers, but ultimately their lives suffer too.

Mobile Devices, Meetings, Conferences, and I

I love to be the centre of attention – maybe it’s the Leo within me.

Throughout my career I've enjoyed many opportunities to feed my ego, and share some of my insights, by publicly speaking, at lectures, lunch and learns, and various conferences and workshops.

Years ago, before we were all wired, everyone paid attention. Well, there were the occasional folks who were told by their boss they had to attend, and just didn't want to be there. But they don’t count – you can’t force someone to listen if they've already decided not too.

These days, even those that are supposedly very excited to hear me –or any public speaker – often spend the whole time with their head down, seemingly ignoring the very speech they wanted to hear.

They aren't sleeping. They aren't glancing at their shoes – though sometimes I wonder. They are stuck with their eyes glued to their mobile devices.

Years ago, we’d tell the few that had cell phones and pagers– remember those? – to please turn them off at the start of the session. It was considered rude, and often drew rolling eyeballs of disgust when someone’s cell phone went off during a professional presentation. 

These days, it’s okay.

Wait a sec. . .

NO IT IS NOT OKAY.

We've become so used to people with their heads buried in their mobile devices at all times and in all social and professional situations, that we've been conditioned to ignore it, and just accept it.

But that’ doesn't make it okay.

It’s still the height of rudeness to ignore anyone, while you text, tweet or post a new status update on your mobile device.

It’s rude to take a call, answer an email, or do any of the zillion of other things we do on our mobile devices, when our attention should be on the person speaking.

The problem isn't so much the mobile device, they are just bits of plastic and metal – they can’t control themselves.

The problem is with our increasingly iSociety.

The iPhone was – and still is – a remarkable piece of tech. As Apple founder, the late Steve Jobs said when he first showed off the iPhone “this changes everything.”

Never before has any piece of technology become so entrenched in the notion of our self, that it created a whole cultural change.

Until the iPhone, which now made it possible to spend an entire life, buried head first, eyes glued to the screen.

The iPhone – and now all smart phones and most mobile devices – are so customizable, and so full of every bit of our lives, that we have created a society which is focused solely on the I.

There are few of us or we anymore.

Oh we share everything we think on the social networks. But think about it – when you are tweeting, emailing and texting, and most things we do on our mobile devices, you are engaging in solely singularly one person activities. You don't jointly tweet, email, text or talk.

And as almost everyone these days is wired with one of these mobile devices – or more –  we've become accustomed to living in a world, where eye contact and the thought of interacting with those around us has become a rare – if not unheard of – thing.

We've created an iSociety.

And, sadly, in an iSociety, no one else matters but me, myself and I.

So that speaker you tweeted you were excited to listen to goes unheard. All you remember about the lecture is that cute cat picture someone posted on their Facebook during the speech.

It’s rude to ignore those around you. And it’s even worse that our society has made that an acceptable part of life.

Let’s change that. Starting today, from now on, when you go to a meeting, conference, or any professional or social function, tuck away your mobile device into a pocket, purse or someplace out of sight. And leave it there, out of sight, and out of mind, until you are really alone.

You can do it. I have faith in you.

And you might actually hear that speaker you tweeted you were excited to hear – for a change!

Happy Red and White Day Canada

This weekend, on Sunday July 1, we Canadians will be celebrating the birth of our country.

  

I love Canada Day – people wearing red and white, cars with mini Canadian flags on their antennas, Canadian flags hanging from balconies and on flag poles outside people’s homes.

We Canadians are a lucky lot. We live in the best country on earth. We really do.

We have a free, democratic society. Free access to a great health care system. And for the most part we are liked internationally by other countries across the globe.

We worship the beaver, the moose, and Don Cherry’s ramblings on Hockey Night in Canada.

We love to bitch and moan about the lack of Canadian content on television, but then we boast about going to see the latest Hollywood blockbuster.

The language police clamp down on all things Canadian in Quebec– unless they are in French. Then we laugh and joke about how it is typically Canadian to even have people policing language in this country.

Our cities and towns are clean, safe and we are always friendly and courteous.

We still haven’t found our unique Canadian identity, but that’s uniquely part of being Canadian. We are always searching for what it means to be Canadian, in the shadow of the giant the US of Eh, eh?

We are known worldwide for having among the best beers and wines in the world – some of the world’s best wines come from Niagara Falls, ON.

And some of the most famous celebs came out of Canada – Pamela Anderson, Jim Carrey, Martin Short, Andrea Martin, Eugene Levy, Avril Lavigne, and Shania Twain.

This Canada Day, I'll be celebrating our nation's birth doing what we Canadians do well -- cooking raw meat with fire -- I'll be BBQing burgers and other BBQ treats -- I'm dying to taste one of my new recipe home made chicken burgers on the grill.

 

I'll be watching fireworks at sunset with friends, enjoying some grilled meats, and thinking about the wonderful country we live in.

However you enjoy your weekend, from far and wide around the world, enjoy your own celebrations with family and friends.

 

Happy Canada Day!